This reading was incredibly thought provoking. I think that the message of, “…love our neighbor as ourself” is powerful, but I cannot agree that one should be honored with love if they have wronged me.
Over time I’ve found that forgiveness is the key to overcoming people that have wronged me, not necessarily loving them. I know that I cannot control others and what they do, but I do have control over myself. I also know that when someone does me wrong, doing them wrong doesn’t work for me. It makes me feel like I’ve been sucked into their world of hate and nastiness, and this makes me feel unhappy and out of control. Therefore, forgiveness is the key to maintaining happiness and control in my life. I once heard that not forgiving someone is like taking the poison and expecting the other person to die. This hit me hard because I imagined how physically ill I get when I'm mad or hold a grudge against someone, yet they go on seemingly unaffected. I’m taking the poison and waiting for them to drop dead, and it’s never going to happen. For this reason, forgiveness isn’t optional, it’s essential to my being.
I agree with Rabbi Shmelke when he said, “If you punish him, you only hurt yourself.” when referring to a neighbor who has wronged you. I can appreciate the idea (not necessarily agree with) that we all come from God so we should love each other the way we love God no matter what. I wish I were a bigger person, but the idea of honoring someone with love goes way beyond what I’m willing to commit to. But maybe one day, the idea of loving the wicked will be as necessary to my existence as forgiveness is now.
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"But maybe one day, the idea of loving the wicked will be as necessary to my existence as forgiveness is now."
Surrendering hurts is a big deal...not an easy path. I so much loved what you said about forgiveness in your other blog, though. It makes me think, "Who has the power here, the wicked, or my love?"
I really enjoyed reading your thoghts on forgiveness. I agree. One should not be honored with love when they have intentionally hurt or wronged us. Forgiveness though is so very important. I have heard somthing similar to what you have referenced, that anger and bitterness is like a toxin in our bodies. I think forgiving someone (although so difficult sometimes)somehow releases the negative feelings within us, and puts us in control. We get the opportunity to choose to forgive, when maybe we didn't have a choice when we were hurt.
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